by Meghan McCallum
Play is central to a child’s development—it is their natural language, a medium through which they communicate, explore their emotions, and understand their identity. Each child’s play is unique, reflecting their individuality and offering insights into their inner world. Whether through crafting elaborate stories with dolls or building creative structures with blocks, play provides a window into a child’s inner world and how they perceive the world round them.
Play has been a fundamental way for humans to connect with and understand children since time immemorial. Developmental psychologists like Jean Piaget and Lev Vygotsky have emphasised its critical role in promoting healthy cognitive, emotional, and physical growth. Play is not just an enjoyable activity for children; it’s a developmental necessity.
In the realm of psychological therapy, play becomes even more profound. Play therapy harnesses this natural form of communication to help children navigate complex emotions, overcome challenges, and build resilience. By entering the child’s world of play, therapists can foster connection, offer support, and guide children toward emotional healing and growth.
What is play therapy?
Play is often referred to as the natural language of children. Understanding the power of play in therapy invites us to see beyond the surface of a child’s actions, recognising the depth and richness that play brings to their emotional and psychological lives. Through play, children communicate in ways that words sometimes cannot capture, revealing their inner thoughts, feelings, and experiences. In the therapeutic context, play becomes a bridge to understanding and supporting a child’s emotional and psychological well-being. It is more than mere recreation; it is a powerful tool that allows children to process their world in a way that feels safe, familiar, and comfortable. Play therapy builds on this innate ability, offering a structured and developmentally appropriate approach to addressing a variety of challenges children face. Toys, games, and creative activities become the “words” of this language, and the therapeutic space becomes a place where children are free to explore, express, and grow.
What Does Play Therapy Look Like?
As a parent, you may wonder, how is playing in therapy different from what my child does at home? Is this truly making a difference? These are valid and common questions, and the distinction lies in the intentionality and structure of the play within a therapeutic framework.
In play therapy, the therapist is not just observing or participating in the play. Instead, they are using play as a medium to understand the child’s internal world, identify patterns, and facilitate emotional growth and problem-solving. The process may look simple on the surface, but it is rooted in evidence-based techniques designed to meet the child where they are and support their unique needs.
Building the Foundations: The Therapeutic Alliance
Before therapeutic work can truly begin, a strong and trusting relationship, known as the therapeutic alliance, must be established between the child and the therapist. This foundational step is crucial and may take anywhere from a single session to several months, depending on the child’s readiness and comfort level. The goal of establishing a strong alliance is to create a safe and supportive environment for the child to explore their feelings and experiences.
Once the alliance is established, play therapy can begin! Now, it is important to note that play therapy is not just play. The treatment might be fun for the young patient—yes—but there is a lot that’s being expressed and understood. Play therapy is meaningful! Play can come in many different forms; it could be through pretend play with dolls and figurines, it could be through arts and craft, playdough, Lego, board games, the possibilities are truly endless. Play allows children to assume the control they so rarely experience living in a world run by adults. They are free to express their emotional experience—what it feels and looks like to be them. With access to this internal realm, psychologists can help the child discover alternative ways of coping with their worries.
The Role of the Therapist
The therapist plays a dual role in play therapy, oscillating between observer and participant. By providing a safe, non-judgmental space, the therapist enables the child to explore their thoughts and emotions freely. Through careful observation, the therapist identifies patterns, themes, or symbols within the play, which can reveal unresolved conflicts or emotional struggles.
The Power of Symbolism:
Play often serves as a symbolic language for children, allowing them to express fears, desires, or unresolved conflicts that may be difficult to articulate verbally. For example, a traumatised child may re-enact their trauma through play, such as a doll being trapped or a figurine battling an overwhelming foe. The child here is creating scenarios that mirror their experiences, thus offering the therapist invaluable insight into their emotional landscape. This re-enactment is the child’s way of processing their emotions and trying to make sense of what happened. It is essential for the therapist to observe this process without judgment, remaining attuned to the underlying emotions and narratives being expressed.
The therapist may gently reflect on what is happening in the play, offering language to describe feelings or experiences the child may not yet have the words for. For example, a child re-enacting a traumatic event, such as a doll being trapped, might be processing feelings of helplessness. By gently engaging in the play, the therapist might reflect, “It seems like this character is trying really hard to feel safe. Do you think about feeling safe sometimes?” This validation helps the child feel understood and supported.
Through this process, the therapist can help the child develop a sense of mastery and control over their experiences. For instance, the therapist might encourage the child to rewrite the narrative in their play—perhaps by introducing a helper figure or allowing the "hurt" character to find safety. These subtle interventions can help the child begin to internalise a sense of hope and resilience, gradually replacing feelings of helplessness with empowerment.
Symbolism in play allows children to process complex emotions and experiences at a pace that feels safe and manageable for them. By meeting the child where they are emotionally, play therapy becomes a collaborative and reparative journey. It not only helps the child process past trauma but also builds their capacity for emotional regulation and problem-solving, laying the foundation for healthier relationships and a stronger sense of self.
Engaging Interests
Play therapy is most effective when it honours a child’s individual interests. Each child has a unique “play language,” and by integrating their passions—whether it’s dinosaurs, art, or superheroes—the therapist builds rapport and fosters a deeper emotional connection. Engaging a child through their interests not only motivates them but also helps them feel valued beyond the challenges they face. It prioritises the child as an individual and demonstrates our desire to get to know them beyond all the ‘problems’ they’ve been brought to therapy for.
Parent Involvement in Play Therapy
Parents play a crucial role in supporting their child's progress in play therapy. While the therapist facilitates the therapeutic process during sessions, parents provide the consistent support and nurturing environment that reinforces the child's growth outside the therapy room.
How Parents Can Support the Process
Incorporating Special Time: Special time is a dedicated, intentional period when parents engage in child-directed play or activities with their child, free from distractions and agendas. It is a powerful tool for building connection, trust, and emotional security, and it complements the therapeutic work being done in play therapy. During this time, the child takes the lead, choosing the activity and directing the play. The parent’s role is to follow their child’s cues, eliminate all distractions (phones and chores), provide encouragement, and create a supportive, nonjudgmental space.
Create Opportunities for Play at Home: Encourage free playtime at home where children can explore their creativity and express themselves. Providing open-ended toys, art supplies, or even a dedicated play space can create a safe environment for children to process emotions naturally.
Communicate with the Therapist: Regular check-ins with the therapist can help parents understand their child’s progress, learn strategies to support their child’s emotional development, and gain insights into the themes emerging in therapy sessions.
Be Observant and Supportive: Watch for changes in your child’s behaviour, play themes, or emotional expressions. Acknowledge their emotions and validate their feelings, even if they seem small or unrelated. For example, if a child expresses frustration by knocking over blocks, saying, “It looks like you’re feeling frustrated— I know how hard you worked to build that tall tower!” can foster emotional awareness and trust.
Play therapy and interest-based approaches extend far beyond the therapy room. They nurture a child’s emotional well-being, foster healthy relationships, and encourage the development of essential life skills such as emotional regulation, problem-solving, and self-confidence. By creating opportunities for connection and exploration, these methods lay a foundation for lifelong resilience and personal growth.
If you believe your child could benefit from therapy or would like to explore ways to support their development further, don’t hesitate to reach out! Seeking support is a powerful step toward creating a brighter, more balanced future for your child and your family.